New Study: Can cash reduce STIs in Africa?

I've spent a lot of time reading about the AIDS pandemic this summer, and I came across this article.  I think it's an interesting approach, and I wonder if it will be as effective in the long run.  But hey, who can say anything against fighting HIV and poverty while encouraging education.  I'm all for it.

Introduction

This year in Uganda I had the opportunity to go to a Kwanjula, which translates into "introduction" in English. It's a Buganda tribal wedding, where the bride is "introduced" to her husband.   The groom and his family get all dressed up and parades to where the bride lives to present himself to her family.   Not only did I get to see all of this, but I got to take part in it as well.

My friend Levi married a Buganda woman, Winnie, whom he met three years ago on his first trip with us to Uganda. Since none of his family members were able to attend we got to stand in for his family.  For this, we had to dress in traditional clothing (see picture below) and carry in the dowry on our heads. 

Me in a Gomesi with my friend and one of the orphans, Dan

 

 

As you can see the children at the orphanage loved that we dressed up in their traditional clothing.  A picture of me in the Gomesi even made the local paper (not joking!). Not only was it honoring to them, but they all kept telling us how "smart" we look.   It's times like these when I start to feel embarrassed for being American and white.  I don't like that some much reverence is put on being white and American.  They hold what we do and say at a much higher value than that of their own people.  It's amazing how ingrained this is even after Britain relinquished their rule. But before I really go off on that, I should get back to the Kwanjula.

Part of Winnie's dowry.  Thank goodness I didn't have to carry the leg of cow. Yuck!

To bring the dowry to the brides family we formed a "conga line" and danced down to where they were seated with baskets of fruit, oil, vegetables etc. on our heads and presented them to her family. It was so neat to be part of something that is so foreign to me and my culture.  I can't imagine ever doing something like this or allowing someone to "pay" a dowry for me.  I guess that's the beauty of it though.  As much as I would typically be annoyed about dowries in general, my Ugandan friends made a good point when they later told me that this is why they rarely get divorced.  The price they have to pay to get married is quite high and it is a literal investment in their wife and their wife's family.  

Two things of much significance that I remember from this day was the symbol of giving a rooster to the brother of the bride and and the advice Winnie's family gave her on how to be a good wife.   In Buganda culture it is common that the brother is the one who gives their sister away.  While courting, the groom will go to the brother and bribe him so that he will cover for his sister when she sneaks out to see her "boyfriend."  When the parents ask what that noise was her brother will respond "it is only the rooster", so at the introduction the groom will hand a rooster to the brother as a gift for his sister's hand in marriage.  I thought it was kind of sweet.  

Now on to the hard part.  Winnie's family gave her some really sound advice about arguing with her husband.  I'm a little too stubborn and head strong for this, but I thought it was great.  They told her that whenever her husband is upset with her and they are arguing that she should take a drink of water and hold it in her mouth so she does not escalate the argument, and when he is done she can spit it out.  Eventually, he will come around and apologize for being a jerk and making up will be easier.  I think it's wise in a lot of cases to not yell back, but I think I would end up spitting the water on someone who was yelling at me ;)