Grace

Meet Grace.  A beautiful Ugandan woman who has given her life to care for precious children at Adventure Village in Seeta, Uganda.  During our "celebration" day she gave her testimony of what God has done in her life.

Amy & Grace

At the age of 16 or 17 (not many really know their real age in Uganda) she was married off to an older man because her parents could no longer afford to take care of her.  Being educated was her only dream, and being married off so young only squandered it.  Her husband was not a man of good character and in her words she "never had a good time in the marriage."  She had five children with this man and he never supported them.  Since she is uneducated it was really hard for her to find work, so she had to find odd jobs to support her children by herself.  She worked so hard and became so thin and diseased-like because she gave all the food she could grow and buy to her children.  She heard about Christian Life Ministries and went to apply to be a "mum".  She told us that if it weren't for Jackson Senyonga answering God's call her children wouldn't have the opportunity to go to school and she wouldn't have ever been able to go to the Ridar hotel (the place where we stay while we are in country). She said, "I never thought I would go to a place like that."

By most American standards the Ridar Hotel is nothing special (personally, I think it's a really nice hotel), but it meant so much to her that she was able to go. Because of her job at the orphanage she can pay her children's school fees, and when she visits her family they tell her she is so fat (which means you are healthy) and ask her how she is living so well.

I was so touched by her testimony because it reminded me of how fortunate I am.  I get to choose if and to whom I marry.  I had the opportunity to go to school, and had loving parents and family to support me.  I never thought I took all that for granted, but at times I do.  It sort of reminded me of my mom.  She may not have been encouraged to do well in school or pursue higher education, but she always encouraged us kids, always loved us through everything.  Going to college was non-negotiable in her eyes, and like Grace did for her kids, she did all that she could to equip us for that journey.

It's women like Grace that remind me to be thankful in all circumstances.

everything You do is just and true

This morning at church I was struck by the words in this song by Brenton Brown. "Everything You do is just and true."  I never realized how powerful these words are or that I would actually be at a place where I was questioning them. My aunt died from colon cancer a few days ago, right on the heels of my return from Uganda, and I feel like I have been inundated with suffering.

The deep pain I feel for my uncle and my dear cousins is unreal. I have no idea what it feels like to lose a mother, a spouse, a brother, a son.. or all four for that matter. I know my friends in Uganda have experienced pain like this too. It's truly tragic. I want to scream that life is unfair, that God made some horrible decisions, but I know deep down I don't believe that.  Oddly enough, I was reminded of a sermon I heard a few months back while visiting a Solid Rock Church in Portland.  They were going through the bible studying 2 Corinthians and the message was titled "Why God allows suffering to happen".  I had my notes from that sermon in my hand today and didn't even know it.

These were the reasons God allows suffering to happen:
1. To comfort others
2. To help a watching world see God in your coping
3. Because of the coming judgment (purges you from sin)
4. We know God best in times of suffering

Life is so precious and so unbelievably short.  In no way am I trying to minimize the pain of death, but I have found joy in the little things this weekend; spending time with my beautiful pregnant cousin, a phone call from my little brother, running in the rain, having Saturday morning breakfast with my mom, her sister, my cousin and her family, and loving on my sweet little nephew at church.

An Uncomfortable Truth

"'Fifteen thousand Africans are dying each day of preventable, treatable diseases--AIDS, malaria, TB--for lack of drugs that we take for granted.

This statistic alone makes a fool of the idea many of us hold on to very tightly: the idea of equality. What is happening to Africa mocks our pieties, doubts our concern and questions our commitment to the whole concept. Because if we're honest, there's no way we could conclude that such mass death day after day would ever be allowed to happen anywhere else. Certainly not North America or Europe, or Japan. An entire continent bursting into flames? Deep down, if we really accept that their lives--African lives--are equal to ours, we would all be doing more to put the fire out. It's an uncomfortable truth.'"

I'm not sure that I have ever felt more challenged\gulity\angry all at once. I love Bono's boldness in this quote, and I've read it before, but when I came across it in a book I was reading tonight it struck me differently. The sentence that strikes me the most was "Deep down, if we really accept that their lives--African lives-- are equal to ours, we would all be doing more to put the fire out." This is so much bigger than even the continent of Africa.

How do we view our neighbors? How do we determine who we want to befriend? Why do we choose to show love to only some people? I think we fail to find value in the lives of people who are outcasts of our society and people who seem to be far removed from our self-centered world views. I think this reigns true of how we view people living in extreme poverty or even as simple as people we proudly consider ourselves more intelligent than. How are we effectively using all that we have been given?

I don't have any solutions or answers, but I feel called/challenged with passion to make a difference. I'm not sure what this will look like, but I'm making it a point to seek out ways I can value people in a completely different way.

I want to live life differently and learn what it means to truly, completely love people. I think in this we find our greatest challenge and our greatest opportunity to change or remedy the atrocities of this world. I don't think God intended for there to be poverty, inequalities, or an ever widening gap between the richest and the poorest of the world, but in these things we are able to live out His love and have an impact.

Returning once again (Lord willing)

Poverty is widespread. Nothing we’ve been told or shown allows us to believe any differently. We “hear” about poverty, but where do we really experience it? We see men and women both young and old on street corners with signs asking for money and many different thoughts run through our heads: “Do they really need help?” “What are they going to do with my money? Drink? Eat? Buy drugs?”

What we see as poverty in the US is incomparable to poverty in third world countries. Something intrinsically breaks you inside when you witness extreme poverty. The question of ill-intent leaves you and you’re left piecing back together your broken heart. Responsibility for the crises consume you. What’s the cause? Who’s to blame? When will it end? How will we end it? Who will help? Is it too much to bear?

... Imagine what Jesus must have thought on his road to the cross…

Walk with me down a red dirt road full of ruts and newly formed potholes, reminders of last year’s rains and what is to come. Pass through the market place where rotting meat of malnourished animals hang on hooks, suitable only for the flies that adorn the flesh with hungry attention. Divert your eyes to the many booths where shoppers barter for food, clothing and plastic shoes, the bare necessities of life. Go a bit further and pass huts and houses, some glorious and others not suitable as a prison cell. Pass the basic brick school house and see students fortunate enough to have their fees paid for a basic education that has insurmountable personal costs compared to their western counterparts.

Outside of those four wall see the children in rags, if anything at all, too shy to look you in the eye without running away. Walk further still and you’ll experience the beauty of Africa, the lush trees and bushes, the bricks drying in the sun, foundations for new homes, and you’ll find your way to Seeta Adventure Village. Be greeted by 850 orphans overjoyed at your presence. Where there was once turmoil, they have been given peace. Where there was once sorrow they have been filled with joy. Where despair was all they knew they have a new found hope. All given by our faith lived out in action.

Play soccer, dance, sing and be relational. Hold the precious hand of a stranger and hear his/her stories…
...the 13-year-old boy who witnessed his father’s murder in the middle of the night by a bill collector…
...the 10-year-old girl who was left alone with her dying baby sister and later chased away from her home, deemed responsible for her sister’s death…
…Feel the young kids chests heave in and out while they’re sobbing in agony, wishing for their last breath, because they cannot understand their past life at the Internally Displaced Persons camp or fathom that they were capable of the forced killing they endured as child soldiers...
...Or see those who bare the marks of being branded like cattle, made property by the Lord’s Resistance Army…

What we don’t experience we have a hard time believing. The bottom line is children are precious all over the world. Respond where you are called. Not all who care have the ability to go. Are you called to give your time in prayer or your treasure to help those in need?

“’What is to be said of the character of people who, having the power to end all this, permit it to continue?’”1

I am traveling to Uganda with Abundant Life Church July 14th-Aug. 5th to expand our water project to reach the whole village, install electricity, create a playground and most importantly love on orphans and the people I come in contact with. My heart in the matter is to bring hope and the love of Christ to people who don’t experience love in all His glory. Abundant Life Church and other sponsors are generously providing funds for our projects. It is my responsibility to raise $3600 in support to cover the costs for my three weeks in Uganda. I am sending this letter to you because I am seeking prayer as well as financial support for this mission. Although financial support is very helpful, the thing I need most for the mission is prayer. If you are able to give go to Delta Ministries' Website or ask me for a response card that you can fill out to indicate the support you will be providing, and return it to Delta Ministries International. Any gift is tax deductible.

Thank you so much for your support. I am excited for this trip and what God has in store for me in Uganda. I look forward to sharing my
experience with you upon my return.

A little nudge...

Lately, I've had a really bad attitude. I'm just not feeling with it or feeling like what I do matters. I constantly toy with the idea of leaving youth ministry. Not that I would ever really be able to leave because relationships would still be there, but just leave the commitment aspect behind. I think about this a lot especially when I'm feeling really drained and overwhelmed, and without fail, God allows something to happen that makes me realize why I hang with these kids.

Today I was really feeling that way. I like to sit and contemplate and talk circles, but often times I don't have the chance to do so at least with other people. So while I was at the church today I talked with someone about what I've been feeling about my involvement with student ministries and just had rounds with them. It made me feel better, but still doubting.

Shortly after, I met with a young lady who had questions about baptism and her relationship with God, and I was so humbled by this conversation. I was able to help her workout her issues and she's decided to get baptized next month. I'm really excited for her and am touched that God would use me in this way. It's these little nudges from him that make me remember why I started getting involved and why these relationships are so important to me.

Abandoned & bruised awaiting a cure

In my current stint of being unemployed I have been doing a lot of reading, which isn't anything new or different for me. But this particular day (yesterday), something I read really made me think. I was lying by the pool of my apartment complex with some younger girls from church when I picked up Barack Obama's Dreams from My Father and began to read.

I'm not really sure how long I had been reading, but it was long enough for the girls to migrate to the other end of the pool to discuss life, while dipping their pedicured toes in the water, and for me to read 140 pages. Once you get past the fact that this book was written by a lawyer, a senator and a politician, you realize that this book is about identity, about a son, a friend, a husband and a father. It made me stop and think about my own identity and my passions.

One of my passions is civil rights and African-American history, which first prompted me to read this book. Don't get me wrong, I support Obama more for his politics than the fact that he is of mixed race and struggled during one of the more fascinating time periods of US history. He just makes me think.

At one point in the book his grandfather's friend tells him, "But your grandfather will never know what that feels like," in reference to being black, experiencing the hurt of racism and trying to find your identity living as a black man in a white family. I stopped there and began listening to the girls' chatter. Being further than an earshot away, it was mere whisper in the late afternoon wind that was beginning to blow. They were talking about being orphans and meeting their birth parents, and for the first time it struck me that I will never know what that feels like. That should be an obvious, but when you really look at the implications and what it means it's mind blowing. I will never experience what these young girls have no matter how hard I try. I began to think of other disparities: we grew up in different areas, we are all of different ethnicity. I realized what a role that played in the depth of our friendships and in the depths of our souls and our identity.

I will never know what it fees like to be black and to come up through the struggles of the last 100+ years, but then again, they will never know how it feels to be white. It was completely chance or luck depending on how you look at it, and this effects our friendships. I've come to the point in my life where I don't want to hide my true self any longer, but I'm beginning to wonder what I hold back from people because of our differences...