I'm not a fan of change. In fact, I think I resist it as much as possible until I just have to embrace it. Some things have gotten easier: watching people and relationships come and go, but the hardest change is always Summer to Fall.
I think I suffer from seasonal depression. The only time I ever loved fall was when it meant I got to go back to school. Sure, I never was ready, but it was always constant. Every year the same feelings. Anxious, overwhelmed, and excited to be one step closer to graduation... Maybe that's it.. Maybe because I don't know what it feels like to graduate from college, I don't feel like I really have. I don't feel my education will sustain me through life.... because it won't.
One thing far more valuable than any class or subject I exhausted is self-worth. Where does it come from? Not a class, a $40,000 piece of paper, or even a "I'm proud of you, Nat."
I think it's important to evaluate where we put our trust and our faith. If I put more faith in the government than I do in God, I'd be worse off than I am now. Same with everything else for that matter. I don't think it's wrong to be ambitious, but I need to be careful of what I am ambitious about.
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